Honestly, keep your promises

by Stephanie on November 7, 2014

When you don’t keep your promises, whether by accident or because you just don’t want to, there are consequences. When you are dishonest or break a promise with someone, it takes a long time before you can gain that trust back. That stinks, you want to be trustworthy.

Even though ADHD may often make things more difficult, I have found ways around it. For my one brother I love to bits, he will give me reminders as he knows where my brain doesn’t always register.

I remember one time when I thought something was going on with someone that day but I couldn’t remember what. I was able to not make plans with someone until I looked at the calendar. I keep this calendar on my fridge and review it daily so I know what is going on.

How do we keep promises…

MAKE SURE YOU CAN! When someone asks me for something, “Depends what it is.” If I can’t do it, why would I promise to do it? It makes little to no sense to attempt something if we have other plans or no time. I am now making a conscience effort to ask what it is and think about it before saying yes.

WRITE IT OUT! Write it and put it somewhere that it will be found and followed. Why write it if you’re going to lose it? One friend to remember to read a book she promised someone she would read put it in the fridge by the milk. Her book was cold but she read it.

A PROMISE IS A PROMISE! If you promise something, do it! It doesn’t matter if it is small to you, it can mean the world to someone else. If you forget that you promised, apologize, make it right as best as you can. However, for the most part, we get lazy with promises, thinking, “Oh well, I promised I phoned and I didn’t, no big deal.” The big deal is the person waited for this call, this communication. You say you’ll do it, then please do it.

SOMEONE TO HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE! If you suck at keeping your word have an accountability buff who will remind you to do what you are supposed to to. It helps me.

JUST DO IT! When I have made a commitment to do something within a time frame, I should just do it. No excuses, no new deals unless you discuss them and they are a win for you as well as a win for the other person. Sometimes there are moments like that. However, a lot of times, the excuses you make are procrastination tools.
As a person with ADHD, I know procrastination. Personally, when I make promises that are life changing for me and don’t follow through, I don’t reap the benefits.

What they expect of you, you should be able to give and hold yourself to your word. However, they should do the same.

When it comes to your word, please, keep it. There is nothing worse than losing the trust of someone you love.


ADHD Communication Blues.

by Stephanie on October 20, 2014

I am not the best at communicating due to ADHD. There is a part of me that can’t always communicate exactly how I want or always understand what bosses or others in general want.

A few of my weaknesses in my communicating include, Facial/body language, ability to get my point across and ability to fully understand all aspects of what is being asked of me.

The funny part about weaknesses is they come out at the the most inopportune times. You see, as a person with ADHD, we often need to know where we stand a lot more than the average bear. We need people to ensure that we have heard them as well as that they have heard us.

It can be frustrating and time consuming to everyone involved. However, I have learned that it saves time and agony on decision making as well.

Running ADHDers through steps slower and more throughly allows the person with ADHD to be able to figure out what they need to do without as many repeated instructions.

ADHD though we try to come up with solutions, there will be times where we can’t always control our disorder. I have come to accept this as true. It is a part of me. I am who I am.

As much as anyone wants to help me with this stuff, there will always be a time where I get frustrated as I am trying to change but stay the same.

I can’t be someone I am not. I am good at many things in, those parts shine. However, there are parts of me that aren’t as shinny and stick out like a dirty shoe.

I can’t always control my facial expressions as it is who I am. Often times I am told I look irritated but more or less I am just thinking of a plan on how to get things done. It isn’t something I mean to do.

I can’t always communicate properly because frankly, I am learning how to. Everyday I have to learn how to organize my words in a fashion people will understand it. If I say, “Please excuse me, I have to figure out how to word this so it comes out correctly” probably means it is so muddled in my head or doesn’t sound nice to me so I have to reword it.

Being rushed in communication sometimes hurts us with ADHD, we say what we think is important, but don’t do it well. In turn people become upset at us. Sometimes, I (or others) expect certain types of communication to be common sense. Sorry to say, for us, its not.

There is no point beating ourselves up for it. It doesn’t help us move forward. We are who we are. I am seeing someone who helps me with my communication. She is a guiding star in my life and has helped me more than words can say.

I have learned how to use “I feel”, win-win situations and have learned how to say “I love me”.

So, although these troubles plague me, I know that I am working hard to become a better me. I hope when people read this, they know that it is okay to have weaknesses for with those weaknesses the beautiful parts of you will shine through.

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