But it’s almost done

by Stephanie on September 12, 2015

I love my mother in-law and my in-law family. I love them so much that sometimes I am afraid of showing them the joys I have being ADHD.

I have this dream plan of having them over and my house is all painted and beautiful. We have a dinner cooked by me for them (As my wonderful Mother in-law is always doing special things for me). We play a game as mother/father in-law vs Son and daughter in-law.

Reality: Stuff not put away here. Messy kitchen I am still trying to manuver in. Yarn all over the livingroom as I begin my trek to make everyone’s Christmas presents. Boxes upstairs, boxes downstairs. My clothes in one room, Michael’s clothes in another room.

Let me back up a little. I moved into a new place. I am excited to have it and to make it beautiful. However, I am not excited of the putting away of stuff because really, I just don’t always know what to do with it.

BUT WE’RE ALMOST there so Michael continuously tells me. However, the more he tells me of what needs doing the more I freeze and think: NO! I can’t! I see this never ending mountain instead of dividing it. I can’t seem to see tasks, I see one big job.

I love my in-laws and I want them to see that beautiful magazine style home that I don’t have. It will happen. I will get the home I want, it will take time and it may take someone to get me started.


I am thankful for a loving husband who is understanding. Michael is my everything. What would I do without him?



My Dearest First Place

by Stephanie on July 24, 2015

Dear first place I ever moved into,

I know I was a slow bloomer. I even moved into you on sore terms literally. I had injured my neck and couldn’t move without help.

On the first day living on my own, I thought I saw a burglar (really was just my roommate). I was scared and alone feeling. I never thought I could be on my own. I never thought I would make it when my roommate left, but I was okay.

My mother helped me organize my things in the cupboards. I thought things were looking up. I knew I wasn’t alone.

My brother-in-law moved in after that. He was almost a relief because I was and am the worst organizer on earth. He vaccuumed more than I even thought of, he did the dishes. Although he ate a lot of food, I was grateful for him. It was hard to let him move into the basement. However, my first place, I did let him move down into my place.

Months passed. I was on my own, living on a budget made for me by my step mother.  My friends sugguested I get a roommate as the rent was too high; that was Mary. An angel in disguise who was very patient considering my ADHD. She helped me with my problems and I with hers. I loved her to death.

She dealt with my ups and downs as I met my now husband, Michael. We had our first kiss inside my dearest first place. I rubbed his shoulders and kissed him.

She had to leave as she couldn’t afford the rent anymore. It was a hard day. A hard time in general. Michael and I had broken up. I was all by myself. I wanted to be with my husband but certainly felt a void in my heart.

Downstairs, things weren’t much better. My brother-in-law took off for BC. My brother got a new roommate (Although didn’t spend much time here either) .

Kristina was my friend and her dog brought me much joy. I walked him. I talked with her. I exercised with her and cleaned with her. We had girl time and for the first time in a long time I felt like I had a sister again.

So no Mary…I continued to have house parties and dinners with people.

Kristina my friend who was faithful and one of my best friends always coming over to helpp me by talking to me while I cleaned.

A roommate moved in with me, Valerie. For once, I was the one who had to be very responsible  (Well most of the time) on a whirlwind ride that was most frusterating. I paid for it in the end. I paid for a lot of things with this one. I also learned a lot of lessons, things aren’t always as they seem.

I tried to date a good friend, Johnathan and…well, it wasn’t right. He was a rebound who was very kind and patient with me. As well as very understanding.

Valerie left my house. I was alone once more…or so I thought.

Actually, as she left so created room in my very fist place. We married January 21st 2012. As we couldn’t set up music at our wedding, we danced in the livingroom to: “A Thousand years” by Christina Perri. Although my father didn’t get a first dance with me I knew in that livingroom my husband was and still is my strength and my all.

We went through many things together house. Cutting myself, getting sick and having meltdowns. Writing each other love letters and being apart. And making replacementsfor when he wasn’t around.

First Christmases together. First birthdays, Valentine’s mornings waking up together.

That’s not all I did in you my very first place.

Learning how to knit again and learning how to paint for the first time. Imagine all the joy I had painting in the kitchen, livingroom and the on and off spare room.

I wrote my first blog article in this, you wonderful first place.

I have had laughs, cries and joys in you.

I was scared in you.  thinking how I could never live on my own. I thought about how inept I felt. Now I know, you made me stronger. Your ups and downs, all my firsts finally paid off in the end. Because guess what? Without you I would have learned nothing.

I am thankful I left my Dad’s house, got on medication and became responsible.

I will never forget all the lessons you have taught me.
Love always,



Symptoms of ADHD: Emotion Control troubles 

July 9, 2015

   People can become out of control in a matter of minutes. Imagine though a hightened sense of emotion where it didn’t take all day to snap but maybe fifteen minutes. This can be quite frusterating. You want to act a certain way and you try but don’t always show the right results. Often times, […]

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Symptoms of ADHD: Impulsive

June 2, 2015

It has been my pleasure to bring to you the symptoms of ADHD broken down into a singular article, that is one symptom at a time. We are now on my favourite enemy and friend, Impulsivity. My doctor who diagnosed me said, if he would change one letter in ADHD for me it would look […]

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Symptoms of ADHD:Forgetting

May 7, 2015

On this blog we have been going through the symptoms of ADHD. I  have often talked about ADHD as my super power. However, there are some points of ADHD that make it both good and bad. Forgetting, is one of them. Before we get into it, always as a disclaimer, I say to you this […]

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Symptoms of ADHD: Disorganization

April 12, 2015

From an etemology (Study of words and how they are put together as well as history) disorganize or Disorganized came into the english language in 1793, from French désorganiser, from dés- “not” (see dis-) + organiser “organize” . This word and related forms were introduced in English in reference to the French Revolution.  To get to the root of being disorganized it is […]

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Symptoms of ADHD: Hyperfocus

April 5, 2015

According to Wikipedia Hyperfocus is: an intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses consciousness on a subject, topic, or task. In some individuals, various subjects or topics may also include daydreams, concepts, fiction, the imagination, and other objects of the mind. Hyperfocus on a certain subject can cause side-tracking away from assigned or important tasks. Hyperfocus can be both a hinderance as well as a glorified […]

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Symptoms of ADHD: Lack of Focus/Concentration

March 20, 2015

 A lack thereof some people say but I say no! We do not have a lack of focus, quite the opposite! There are so many choices for us to focus on that we cannot concentrate on one. All the thoughts seem to come at once. People want us to completely focus on what they think […]

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March 5, 2015

The hardest thing for me to put up with is too much praise. I am talking compliments where people praise me and say, “You do a good job”…I don’t know how to respond to it. I grew up recieving a lot of negative stuff on what I did bad. Therefore when I do well, at […]

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