Why Do I attract Drama?

by Stephanie on July 9, 2014

Drama land is easy to get sucked into. One of the main reasons why it is for people with ADHD is it is often a release from ones own problems. Whether work drama or otherwise, we must be careful to know our boundaries.

I remember times of having gab sessions that turned into more stress at work. In fact, last week I had a gab session such as that. I am continuing to learn I know. It is not always with my normal team either.

I know there have been times in my world where I get so stressed about others stress I take it home! Not a good plan.

The other part of being in other’s drama is when you have ADHD, you think you have to fix others problems. In the medical profession, you have a lot of options to fix others problems.

The drama didn’t stop there. Fixing problems leaked into many venues of my life. At least that was a problem I suffered at church. I was so busy fixing everyone else’s problems, when it came time for me to have my problems looked after, no one was there to help me.

Since then, I have had to learn how to tamper the drama down. I have to remember a few things.

First off, I have had to learn when people tell me something, to keep it low key. They have told me to //get something off their chest. They haven’t told me to pass it on to Joe Blow. Talking behind someone’s back and telling ones secrets that they have given you to hold onto is a breech of trust. If it doesn’t bite you in the butt now, it will later, believe me.

STAY OUT OF IT! If there is a war between two people, stay out of it! Not yours to play with or tamper with. I don’t mean you can’t be supportive and listen. I also don’t mean you cannot make suggestions to the people you love and know. However, this is their fight, not yours. Don’t add the “He said” and “She said”. You will lose one way or another. You will lose one of them as a friend. LEAVE IT ALONE!

ENOUGH! A shoulder is one thing, a listening ear yes. However, a repetitive turning record can be unhealthy. I dealt with this at church where a person would complain about the same thing over and over. You have to learn when you have had ENOUGH!

You need to be there for others yes, however, please don’t let the drama train distract you from your own short comings. Everyone has one.

This is subject of drama often has been my greatest enemy. I am striving to be loving and understanding. I learn how to keep secrets. I am learning to stay out of it. I will continue to learn to say enough when I have had enough.

I love everybody. I burned out at church with this drama and really haven’t been back since. However I do know a lot more than I know now. Had I stopped trying to “Fix it”, I would have been less stressed.

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It’s been flattering and unsettling when my wife, Stephanie, posts these wonderful articles about her love for me and how I’ve helped her. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve such praise. :P I’ve been remiss in my duties to adhdexpression this past year, but she has kept things up as she shares her personal struggles with ADHD and more importantly the strengths it has and what we can do with it.

I decided it was past time that I make a short video highlighting some of her strengths. Watch and Enjoy! We’d also love to hear some of your ADHD strengths in the comments.


PS You may notice the stick on white boards in the background. Stephanie gave them to me. I used them for a little bit and then stopped. I never bothered erasing them, but with this video I quickly had to erase the private info on them. :P She was trying to get me to start a good habit of calendaring my work. I still haven’t developed that habit as well as she has with her work.

 

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