Symptoms of ADHD: Lack of Focus/Concentration

by Stephanie on March 20, 2015

 A lack thereof some people say but I say no! We do not have a lack of focus, quite the opposite! There are so many choices for us to focus on that we cannot concentrate on one. All the thoughts seem to come at once. People want us to completely focus on what they think we should. When we do not do so, we are considered unfocused.

 

Why is that exactly? Well there are many theories. One of the amazing ones is about the people who left Africia to populate other places, to go on adventures. They speculate that some of these people had ADHD. If it wasn’t for them, there wouldn’t be modern day man. (Sorry, I watched a documentary on this and do not have my sources down so if you know or have watched it let me know)

Another one of the theories as to why there is more ADHD is because the world is changing to adapt to a never ending stream of information being shot at the human race.

 

But what is focus anyway? Etymology states that the word comes from  Latin. Focus meaning “hearth, fireplace” (also, figuratively, “home, family”), which is of unknown origin. Used in post-classical times for “fire” itself; taken by Kepler (1604) in a mathematical sense for “point of convergence,” perhaps on analogy of the burning point of a lens (the purely optical sense of the word may have existed before Kepler, but it is not recorded). Introduced into English 1650s by Hobbes. Sense transfer to “center of activity or energy” is first recorded 1796.

 

 

Anways, that’s my blurb about focus. Hope it was somewhat interesting. If it appears you can only focus on what interests you or what is interesting, this can be a symptom of ADHD.  However, please do not self diagnose. See a doctor.

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Praise…

by Stephanie on March 5, 2015

The hardest thing for me to put up with is too much praise. I am talking compliments where people praise me and say, “You do a good job”…I don’t know how to respond to it. I grew up recieving a lot of negative stuff on what I did bad. Therefore when I do well, at first I like it but then I don’t know what to do with it.

ADHD has often made it difficult to live life the way others would classify as a normal life. It means I often have trouble recognizing when I am doing well. I don’t realize it at all. If I don’t know what I am doing well at, how can I know how to accept a compliment right? It took me forever not to run from compliments.

When I went to church, I often had problems singing in front of people. In my church I used to attend they wouldn’t clap after musical preformances. Therefore, they would save all their praise for what you had accomplished for later. 

I would often hide behind doors or in the bathroom until class had started so I wouldn’t get complimented. I would then walk into class and they couldn’t say anything to me because Sunday school had started.  

This worked for a while but every once in a while, they would find me and the compliments would begin again.  I hated this. I just wanted them to stop. I was just singing, I was doing what I liked there was no reason to compliment on it. Singing was like breathing to me.

I wonder how many other ADHDers have trouble accepting compliments. I have met a few. However, I have also met those who have the opposite end of the spectrum, they have to be complimented. They wait for it, almost crave it.

I don’t know how to love compliments, I still don’t completely as I never know how to respond but what I do know is learning is power.

So let’s learn how to accept PRAISE

P= Pocket the compliment. Often times we do not pocket the compliment because we don’t want to seem too prideful. Sometimes we think we don’t deserve it. But if we did a good job why don’t we deserve it? 

R= Racing for compliments. If you feel you are racing to recieve a compliment it probably isn’t a good thing. When you will run for anyone or anything just to get complimented, you will lose part of yourself and your values.

A= Appreciate it.Saying thank you is one way of allowing that person to feel like opening their mouth wasn’t scary and worthless. I didn’t know this before but sometimes complimenting people can be a hard job.

I= Include. If a compliment you get is on behalf of a team effort, do not forget to include the team. I don’t know how many times I have been complimented for something I did as a team at work and I alone recieved the compliment. I always refer back to my team. 

S= Smile. This was my biggest weakness when it came to taking compliments. I would look at people like a deer in headlights. I thought I did something wrong instead of good. 

E= Expressions. Non verbal cueing is part of this. I know I said smile but there is more to it than just putting a smile on your face. Look at your body language and theirs it will be easier to respond to.

So there you have it. Praise. I am learning to accept it and I hope that I have helped you with accepting praise heathily. 

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Anxiety and ADHD

February 13, 2015

ADHD symptoms can be very interesting to say the least. When you are passionate and you worry others won’t be for instance, anxiety may happen. When you want something done right and procrastinate planning of it, you may become anxious. Most ADHDers love the crunch time. However, do the people around you love it? Yesterday […]

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100+

January 30, 2015

Our facebook page has reached above 100 and I never thought it would. I say to those people who read this blog, thank you. Thank you for supporting the dance of ADHD…the dips, the twirls and the flips that have brought me to an understanding of how wonderful we are as a community. I thought […]

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ADHD 101: Inattentive

January 17, 2015

Stephanie here hoping all is well in ADHD land. Learning about your type of ADHD is important. I should know, I have ADHD. It took a long time for me to understand what that meant for me. What is more important though is going from diagnosis of ones self to seeing a doctor. That is […]

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ADHD 101: The Impulsive

January 12, 2015

Hello, I’m Stephanie and I have ADHD. Well I guess you know that if you are following this page. However, what you may not know is, I have impulsive ADHD. Heh heh. It is quite frustrating. You can often find me fidgeting with something. I bite my nails at times (Wash my hands afterwards) I […]

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Where is the baby?

January 1, 2015

Before it was, “Where’s the perspective husband?” I was asked if I had found that special someone. People gave me unnecessary comfort that I didn’t know I needed being a single person. The more they asked, the more abnormal I felt. The more abnormal I felt about being single, the more desperate I became. I […]

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I shouldn’t have….

December 21, 2014

I had finished healthcare aide course but wanted more. I have no idea how but my sister convinced me I should be a social worker. Sara had signed me up for two summer classes. Both of which were nice but, really didn’t serve a purpose for where I was working. I didn’t really want to […]

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Marriage, Hobbies, Family and Friends

December 18, 2014

Okay people, this is the funniest lesson I had to learn when I first got married. My husband is a great guy and I love him ever so much. However, do we have to spend every waking moment together? The answer is no. Do not get me wrong, I do lots with him. However, when […]

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