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No matter what love Y-O-U

by Stephanie Hurd in Self esteem
June 29, 2013 0 comments

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Losing your job or getting into fights…it sucks doesn’t it? Michael had a temporary job that lasted for two years and now it is gone. Also my friend has been go on and off with a boy who isn’t any good for her. She fights with him constantly and gets back with him only to leave him again.

To lose a job is hard, it almost seems hopeless like you’ll never gain work or you’re not much of a person. When you keep going after a relationship that isn’t working, it screams self esteem problem.

How do we overcome self esteem issues? Deeming ourselves unworthy for better or thinking everything is going downhill and nothing will ever go right? Well, it is easier said than done. It’s funny but for others to want to hire us or for us to have respect in a relationship, we need to respect ourselves. We need to set boundaries, dress/act a certain way and become the person we want to be to get a job or the man of your dreams.

If you don’t respect yourself and praise yourself, how can you expect others to praise you? If you don’t think you can get a job, how can you? If you can’t have fun with yourself (ie shop by yourself), how can you expect others to have fun with you?

So here’s what we can do…

 

DRESS TO IMPRESS: How you dress says a lot about you. You want to be true to yourself but still show that you respect others. For instance, for me, I wore a lot of stuff that didn’t match my flamboyant personality. Now I wear things that are colorful and bring out the best in me. The person you want to impress is yourself. You don’t want to be someone else, always stay true to you. However, when it is time for an interview or a date, dress nicely, put some effort in.

 

HYGINE: Wearing your jammies all day is all well and good but if you don’t take care of your basic needs, you can’t love you. Brush your teeth (Even though sometimes this can be hard to remember to do for me) Use deodorant, run a brush through your hair.  Remember to shower as necessary. It is tough sometimes, you wonder, “Why should I if it is only in me?” The real question is why shouldn’t you look good for you?

 

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EXERCISE AND/OR MEDITATE: Okay, the exercise part…I do exercise with my seniors. We toss a ball and what have you or play other games. We also stretch. Meditate, I try to do that once a day (Even if it is on the toilet, I have a wall scroll I will read over and reflect on). It is important to love yourself and take that time for you. Exercise brings up the blood flow.

 

SHUT THE NEGATIVE MONSTER DOWN: He is in there and he is mean. He tells you you’re not worth it. Show him you are. Everyone has a negative thought. I am sorry, you will never be able to help that. Without negative things you can’t see the positive. However, you can take the Negative monster off the stage with a hook. Just tell yourself: Do these thoughts make sense? Why am I afraid of this? What in my past is hurting me and making me think this way? Once you figure it out, write down the answers and figure out good thoughts to replace the bad thoughts.

 

THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON YOU CAN PLEASE…YOU: Stop going person to person trying to please them! It is not your job to keep everyone happy. Sometimes, you have to worry about yourself. It doesn’t mean hurt people or ignore people’s pain but it does mean you can’t make everyone happy.

DON’T RUN FROM IT, LEARN FROM IT: Face it, we make mistakes. We lose jobs and boyfriends. But this part is clean and simple, if you lose a job, you need another one. There isn’t any blame. Maybe you lost it as it was temporary—maybe you lost it because of problems within yourself. Same with the boyfriend. Maybe you lost him as you changed and he stayed the same or maybe there were problems within yourself. Learn from what happened, make notes of what you have learned and move onto the next thing. BUT OWN IT!

 

GRATUITOUS PRAISE: You think that praise stinks? Learn to give it, learn to except it. Learn to love yourself. Your accomplishments are important. Don’t flash them around but definitely don’t hide them under a rock. Cleaning part of a pile, that is an accomplishment. Having a job for two years, that is something to be celebrated. Write down how amazing you are and don`t forget it. It is okay to get praise and to give it to yourself.

 

It is all about how you see yourself. Love you and the rest will take care of itself. I am Stephanie Hurd, I have ADHD…though others and myself, I am learning to love me. I am learning to keep on working on a person who is worth fighting for, myself.

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