I share a lot of articles about how my ADHD is good and what have you. Today, I will share what my ADHD does to me at times. I cannot describe everything because the work place I am in requires me to keep stuff confidential. It is a part of my job I fully respect.
I got out of bed and had absolutely no desire to cook, eat healthy or to do anything for that matter. What did I have for breakfast? Chips, some fruit and a glass of milk. I took my one vitamin (though if it were up to the husband I would have a drug store of them) I should take and my medication…very late because I almost forgot them yet again. I waited until the last minute to get dressed as I had discovered a show I could binge watch on youtube. I hate cliffhangers thus love this opprotunity.
As I was about to leave I did my check. Work keys and name tag…there! Checked my pockets for my cellphone. Oh NOT AGAIN! I couldn’t find my stupid phone. Oh Where did I put it. Oh wait, it is in my bra (Don’t tell me you haven’t ever done that). I lost my keys too. They weren’t in the key pocket, or in the wallet pocket…okay. I went to put my cellphone in its pocket, there were the keys!
Arg, now I have to walk fast to work (Have my clock set ahead so I am never late). I think about my day. I want to play the piano and do music trivia. I want to make sure I bring certain people.
I get in and manage to punch in. I go to wash my hands but in the corner of my eye see the keyboard is out. Oh yeah, we have students still! One of them plays the keyboard and wants to also do music trivia. I tell the student for future reference that I do trivia on Tuesdays. I change strategies and now know I am playing the guitar.
I go and do my usual, write on the board and check on my people. I come back and place my pens where they belong. Amelia (Not real name) Asks what I am making. I have no idea what she is talking about. I am placing things in a cupboard, what could I possibly be making? Was I supposed to make something? Oh dear, I don’t know what I am supposed to be making.
Wait, she could want something else. I began to look for social cues. In her hand was a list that spoke about a potluck. Now I was able to answer her and tell her I didn’t know.
Our conversation ended there but my mind moved toward that thought. what could I do for a potluck? I would be at my mothers tomorrow. Thursday is the potluck. Hmm, would my mother like it if I cooked at her house? I am not sure…Nah, I think I should get something but what? Dare I let the husband pick up stuff? What do I even have?
As all these random thoughts rolled through my mind, I turned and there was Lucy (Not real name) one supervisor, Mady the student (Not real name)) and Darlene (Not real name) my Boss.
They asked another question as I was turning to read the communication board. Lucy was talking so fast (And I was still thinking of potluck and communication sheet) I didn’t hear what she was talking about until it registered about two minutes later when my brain caught up to my ears. She wanted my opinion on who to bring to an activity.
Unfortunately I was literally staring at her as this computed and did not know how to get my mouth to open to even explain this. I could not activate any part of my physical parts to produce a proper response. Darlene said, “Do over.” Which then the supervisor said her piece again and I tried to come up with better responses.
The responses came slow at first but finally sounded like something people could understand. The problem was all the responses were in there it was just taking time for them to come out.
I went about my day doing my job as per normal. At lunch I walked home as per always. I was thinking about the whole day and how it went. I was rehashing what went wrong and why I could not speak. The light changed colour, I started to walk.
WRONG COLOUR! It was green and I was walking…and a fire truck was coming around the corner. I got out of the way!
The day went better whe I got back. However, this was quite the ADHD day.
I wonder if people understand that this is not just once in a while. Most of the time I fight with myself to put on clothes in the morning. I fight to find my keys. I am struggling to get to work on time. I forget stuff that should be automatic like brushing my teeth before bed, going to the bathroom before sleeping or yes even drinking water if I am thirsty.
I hate it and wouldn’t wish this on anyone. The sudden behavior changes, not being able to say what you think you are saying.
Although I would not wish it on anyone I am grateful because it teaches me to be slightly more understanding. So what are your ADHD days like? If you are not the one with ADHD this is just a glimpse into what we deal with everyday.