Step one, Enjoy yourself.
Once upon a time, I was one who couldn’t love myself—I had time to but I didn’t take the time. Instead, I thought to love myself, I had to take care of everyone as once they loved me, I might see that I am good and worthwhile loving. What a backwards thought. I couldn’t help others until I helped myself.
Enjoying yourself involves believing who you are is worthwhile. You are your own worst critic as I have been learning. Being secure with me, is not an easy job as I often am hard on myself like every other person with ADHD is.
We had other critics telling us how lazy and stupid we were. The problem was, one day we believed it. We believed we were lazy. We believed we were stupid. We believed we were lazy. Now, we know hey, I have ADHD and that’s why these things are going on. However, our mind is still in its mode. It has forgotten this is who we are.
For me, I have combination ADHD which means I am most impulsive but I have issues paying attention.
I interrupt people when I find them boring or worst of all, zone out. People think I am not listening to them as I am playing with a ring or playing a game while they are talking. When I don’t understand something or get frustrated, I often get angry or sad easily which can make people upset yes, but also leave me feeling very embarrassed. When I get angry or sad like this, I often react before I can think about it. Once my brain catches up with my emotions, I just feel like I am an awful person.
It’s also hard being inattentive. I lose things, things I just put down not even a second ago. I get lost easily as I don’t pay attention to stuff like street signs or just don’t remember where things are. It can be quite frustrating for people who want me to know where they are and have an expectation of me to remember. However, I just don’t. I explain to them and they don’t get it. It is hard to explain as I don’t always understand myself.
Although these troubles are some of the ones that get in my way the most, I have to love that part of me. I have to love it just as much as I love the creative part of me. I am most creative. I play music, I do lots of crafts, I love writing and enjoy being a performer. However, I am often embarrassed of my shortcomings like not being able to keep up on my house.
So how do we start loving ourselves? Make time for you. I am learning meditating for me is a good time. I do a guided meditation as it helps me remember who I am. It is filled with positive reinforcements to allow the bad stuff to be removed and the good stuff to stay.
The key to positives is not saying “I Want” to do something. It is to say “I Feel” as if it has already happened. Why? Well quite simple, you have a calm inside you that you don’t know about, it just deep in there. You have to dig it out.
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Always use positive words, like “Love”, “Powerful”, “Joy”. Positive words create enjoyment for you to be in your own skin.
So for instance… “I feel calm and grounded.”, “I am powerful, I can do anything I want to do.”, “I am succeeding everyday at bringing joy into my life.”
Meditation I feel centers me. It reminds me I am a good person who deserves love. I have a purpose in my life and that is to be me. It helps me to remember, my life is good. It also silences my inner critic. My inner critic is a little monster who tells me I stink at everything.
When you are meditating, you can imagine yourself in a warm beautiful place. You can see the words the monster critic is saying to you. You can then gather them up, take a look at them and say to yourself, “That’s silly.” And, promptly dump them in the water or let those words flow through the air.
Next way to enjoy yourself is to give yourself time just for you. When I do this, It allows me to spend a day getting to know myself. In a world where often times we forget ourselves, it is important for me to get to know—well me.
Often times, thanks to my ADHD, I have been able to see when others need things. I put myself in a corner and address their needs. However, if I am always doing that, how can I address my needs? So, make time for you. It could be cleaning your house to make your life less cluttered. However, I would recommend reminding you how to play.
Many adults find themselves putting away the “Childish”. Well isn’t that really what we all need? Part of the way I always play is through color. I wear lots of color. I don’t care what others think of me. Color makes me happy. When I wear something bright and something that flows, I dance around and life becomes lighter. My troubles are lessened.
I also play by singing and writing. I am not always writing things down however, I find myself talking out stories or singing as I go. I play by learning. I learn new subjects.
So don’t forget about you. Meditate, dress for you, do what you love and love every part of you. To end off, I am Stephanie, I have ADHD and I am learning to enjoy myself through dressing how I want, letting go of my critics through meditating and making more time to play as well as get to know me.