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Marriage, Hobbies, Family and Friends

by Stephanie Hurd in Uncategorized
December 18, 2014 0 comments

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Okay people, this is the funniest lesson I had to learn when I first got married. My husband is a great guy and I love him ever so much. However, do we have to spend every waking moment together? The answer is no.

Do not get me wrong, I do lots with him. However, when I was first married, I assumed that my whole life would have to rotate around his. I went to all his martial art classes. I thought I had to do everything he wanted to do.

What I learned? I freaked him out watching him to his class. He tried to encourage me to do my own class. I started going with my brother Aron to the gym while he did his work out.

Although right now my brother is not doing this, as he is not in town. I grew with my brother in ways that I didn’t see possible in a nine year age difference.

I also made plans with my friend Mirranda doing everything from mountain hikes to shopping trips. I loved my monthly Mirranda date more than anything.

I have a once a month shopping fest with another brother.
I have a weekly visit with my mother who I love.
I phone my Dad and Step Mom once a week to keep contact.

Meanwhile my husband does his martial arts, goes to toastmasters and does stuff with his family.

He has done stuff with friends as well.

It works because we love each other and respect each other. There is nothing better than him telling me of his plans. We coordinate, write on the calendar. Sometimes though I forget and he has to do a summary.
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He encourages me to knit, do my art and be me.

One time, Michael tried to use me as an excuse to quit his martial arts. I wouldn’t let him quit and yes, he is still going.

So you see people, you do not have to give up your whole life to be married. Marriage means you lift the best part of each other. If your partner doesn’t do this, it is up to you to teach them how to respect you.

If you teach them it is okay for them to pull you down, they will continue to do that. Michael has taught me to respect him in several ways. At first in our marriage we had to learn how to talk to each other and not always demand our own ways.

We also both have sacrificed to give the other person what they need. Michael wasn’t feeling good the other day but still drove out to meet some friends for my sake.

Sometimes at night, Michael has been really antsy. He wants to move or do something when I have gotten home from work. I am tired and do not feel like going anywhere. He will sometimes go for an evening walk while I stay home and lounge.

However, of course we still do things together. I love my husband a lot. Asking him to provide for all my needs is just wrong. He is one person and cannot be expected to be everything to me.

Reader, take my advice, a marriage should not take away from who you are. To love your partner, you have to love yourself. To feel like yourself, you have to allow yourself time to be you by pursuing your interests not just theirs.

You need to allow your spouse and yourself alone recharge time. Whether you’re extroverted like me and need to have a sea of friends to recharge you or, you’re like Michael who needs to curl up to a good book for some alone time.

BE YOURSELF with your marriage, hobbies friends and family.

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