I had finished healthcare aide course but wanted more. I have no idea how but my sister convinced me I should be a social worker. Sara had signed me up for two summer classes. Both of which were nice but, really didn’t serve a purpose for where I was working. I didn’t really want to be a social worker. I wanted to please my sister.
Problems started from the beginning. The only psychology class was a second year, I hadn’t taken first. I also hadn’t taken an introductory class to philosophy either. Needless to say I was over my head.
Instead of leaving, I challenged both second year courses, sticking with them. I failed one, almost failed the other.
Really to be honest, I shouldn’t have taken them at all. I should have walked away. I wasn’t ready for it. Moreover, it didn’t completely help my progression in the field I was in.
From then on, I had to learn when to cut my losses. Now I know I have written on this topic before but hey, sometimes, you need a refresher. Sometimes you have other people who need to know when to leave things alone.
As a person with ADHD, I have had to learn some lessons over and over. The biggest problem with living this life is people will think these problems are all connected to another mistake. Whereas to me, each problem is new for the first time. I often need reminder after reminder, making similar mistakes before they click.
Others think that this should click right away and I have realized sometimes it just doesn’t.
For me, I felt that if I wanted to take University style classes, it should have been ones in which I was interested in and not my sister. I feel like if I had have researched what I was getting into, I would have known they were second year courses and I would have done better.
If I would have listened to my own instincts and the instincts of others, I wouldn’t have had a second student loan to pay off which took forever. It would have made sense to give the money back to the loan people and told them the truth, these classes were too much for me.
I didn’t really understand how to write a paper properly. I needed a lot of work. However, I was proud and asked the dean if I could proceed.
I lost out on an opportunity to completely be immersed in this course because, I didn’t understand the fundamentals. Without the fundamentals I would not be able to succeed as I would have if I had taken first year previous.
The one professor said I failed by a hair. She didn’t want to fail me. I showed up everyday and worked very hard but didn’t get results.
When should we quit what we are doing and move on? Why do we keep going even though it isn’t a smart move?
We don’t want to admit that something is wrong. It is difficult to do this. Sometimes I have put my heart and soul into something that I know will not look good because that is the way someone else wanted it.
I tried it their way over and over I was afraid if I told them otherwise they would yell at me. If I changed it without consulting them, I would just get into more trouble.
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If your labours aren’t getting you anywhere, time to cut your losses and move on.
We don’t want it to come back on us. Imagine working hard on a project and never quite getting the pat on the back. Everything around you is crumbling. People are upset at you for participating still and yet, there you are still doing it, still pressing forward.
Why?
We don’t want to think that we haven’t tried every option to get results from our project. We don’t want people to think we’re quitters. We want to get what we feel we deserve.
Well guess what I am learning?
Life isn’t going to pat you on the back Every time you do something. I wish more people would do it because the more positive people are with me the better I feel and the more productive I become. I do understand the need for criticism.
People are going to get annoyed if you keep going back to a project that you want to workout but isn’t working. They will be upset that you won’t let it go even though it has not benefitted you to do so. They will be upset at you and in my opinion, sometimes they have a right to be.
If you keep going back to a place that doesn’t respect you or gives you the money you deserve, you are teaching people how to treat you. Trying every option to beat that dead horse until it is down to the bare bones is not going to give you that validation you need. It is just going to close doors for you.
If I had taken those courses after the introductory courses, I would have probably passed. However, it did in many ways close a door. I never went back to do any additional courses there.
Finally, sometimes you could do all the work in the world and not get what you deserve for your sweat and tears. This happens. I know this from experience.
My sister offered to give me a job nannying my niece. It was going well but she wasn’t paying me. I told her the 600 dollars hadn’t come and I needed the money as this was my job while I was looking for a job.
She never did pay me. In fact, she cost me a lot of money. Sara had given me a cell phone as well to sweeten the deal. Every time she was cross with me, she would take my cell phone away.
So in fact, I had to buy out the cell phone contract which cost me money to do. I then lost out on 600 dollars. I gave up on it though, I got a job and realized it wasn’t worth the headache.
I put more energy into finding a job and got one.
So yes, we all have could have, should have and would have attitudes in us. but instead of saying this, move on to I now can, will and I have. Once we do this, we can move on.