One thing that differs between my husband and myself is how I can express in words everyday how much I love him. Men do often times have more issues than women expressing themselves as they were taught very young that being a man means keeping it to yourself. However, I have found one of my strengths of having ADHD is reading his face, body language and emotions. I don’t necessarily mean that I know what he is thinking but it gives me an idea.
Often times it is most frustrating when you are such an extravert and your partner is an introvert. When you have an introvert partner, you almost have to beat it out of them. Being an introvert isn’t bad nor being an extravert. Each has its advantages and disadvantages.
When you have an extravert, it is too easy to spot how they’re feeling. An Extravert will often shut up completely when they are mad. Once they get to express themselves, watch out as it will be like a hurricane, lasting for a while but shooting things or rather ideas everywhere creating a mess. After they are done, it is almost like you see an emotional clearing of them. However, the other person can be left almost dumbfounded. However, without this release, an extravert can become most frustrated. What’s worse is, they hate it when there is no reply to this horrendous storm.
One thing you will notice with an introvert often becomes an extravert when they are angry. This can hurt a person with ADHD as they don’t see it normally thus, it worries them when they do show their anger. With an introvert, they will get angered or frustrated and then suck into themselves. It is their way to process what just happened. They have to play the situation and find solutions themselves in order to move forward. Some like to completely change the subject on the outside while still trying to figure it out on the inside. Introverts like to solve the problem slowly versus having someone else just give them quick solutions.
I haven’t figured out Michael completely. The mystery that is him both amuses and confuses me. However, you must know one thing, he is definitely worth it. He is worth every bit of research I have to do to crack the husband code.
I love him so completely. He doesn’t always demonstrate his love with words like I do. Sometimes he says, “I love you” and sometimes just thanks me when I say it. However, I do know he loves me just as I love him.
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I love how he plays with my hair. When he does this, it allows me to know how much he cares about me. He knows I become most relaxed when playing with my hair. It also improves my focus at times and allows me to think better. When he strokes my hair, it makes me feel the love that is within him almost shoot out from his finger tips.
A kiss on the forehead, it is the most treasured way he shows me he loves me. When he kisses me on the forehead, he does it extraordinarily gently for a man of his stature. When he does this, I feel like he appreciates me and would do almost anything to protect me or help me. Michael makes me experience a great emotional bliss whenever he does that. A kiss on the head can defuse any doubt. It lets me know he is here.
When he wraps his strong arms around me, I know he feels like we are one. We meld together, feeling all the love and joy each partner has for the other. His strong arms keep me smiling throughout the day. As he pulls me in closer, all I can think about is how I wish we became one person. I hope for all the joy and happiness to be with me always. When he wraps his arms around me, by the end, even if he is gone to work, he truly hasn’t left. He will be in my heart and on my mind.
Michael has also made it a habit of when I work weekends to have lunch completely ready for me on Sundays when I come home. It helped me throughout my day because the thought of him sitting across from me is special. When he does this, I can look into his green eyes which are really the window to his soul. I also feel the kindness in this act.
Michael is not totally unbreakable, I can read him in many ways. And if you don’t think I have said it enough, I love all he does and appreciate all he is.
Don’t be afraid to continue to learn about your partner every day. Do not forget to let them know that you love them either physically or vocally. Life is a journey, you two have chosen one another. You two are changing every day. Do not let this slap you down. Allow your journey to allow your falls to be eventual triumphs. Allow your victories with your communication to be celebrated. Most of all, never stop learning.