People can become out of control in a matter of minutes. Imagine though a hightened sense of emotion where it didn’t take all day to snap but maybe fifteen minutes. This can be quite frusterating. You want to act a certain way and you try but don’t always show the right results. Often times, this can give the wrong impression to people who think you’re not being nice or being very unperfessional but you don’t mean it that way. You just can’t seem to happen.
I remember needing my boss for something but she was talking to someone else. I almost paced like a lion in an enclosed cage feeling completely helpless as I needed her before I could go for lunch.
One employee said, “Why don’t you just go for lunch?” I snapped at her. I was upset because she saw me waiting. She saw that I needed my boss and I felt helpless, like I could do nothing. My heart was pounding. I was so angry, I just wanted to get it done and leave. I wanted to make a good impression and get the task done.
I didn’t know what to do. A friend of mine gave me the answer as to what could I do now. I did what I could do then and by the time I got back my boss was available to help me with what I needed.
Did that stop the emotion? No, not right away. I walked home for lunch as I always do. I think I thought of every scenario possible of how things could have played out before reaching the house. I thought of how insensitive that coworker was for not understanding why I had to stay after I had explained it. I thought of how to make it flow better and picking better times to talk with the boss. The list goes on.
ADHD has been both a blessing and a burden in my life. It has made me feel such anger I pray it lets me stop feeling it. I can have the meanest thoughts boiling inside of me until I explode.
I have felt such extreme boredom I wish I could do something crazy like walk out of meetings. Really, the meeting is informative and very useful. If we were talking and walking I would probably enjoy it but, because I have sit and listen and see out the window at everyone else, it makes it hard.
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Someone snaps at me I feel like I have hurt them beyond repair at times. When they snap it is like I can never fix it and they hate me. This isn’t all the time. However, I don’t like feeling that way. My mind will go scenario after scenario.
When I have made someone upset, it rolls around in the pit of my stomach. I feel almost sick. I want to cry, scream and hide all at the same time.
When I have an extremely happy event I want to shout it from the rooftops. I want everyone to be happy with me and make it my mission to aide everyone in being this happy.
ADHD…EMOTIONS
SCARY SOUNDING HUH?
That’s my day to day, Medication does help a bit with this but doesn’t make it completely go away.
If you experience these emotions or others like it, you may have ADHD. As said many times before, please do not self diagnois. A doctor is usually the key to finding out if you have ADHD. I hope this helped.
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