No, the hardest word in ADHD land. I remember at one point in my job We got that new boss Claudia (Not real name) Claudia looked at my old calendar given to me by my last supervisor and stated, “Unbelievable, I think you have too much time on your hands.”
My calendar was broken down for me. It consisted of organizational time in which I would organize my programs for the day. (You see I am in recreation). I would be able to look at a calendar and for a half an hour, I would get all organized for the day. I would then have to do up a day calendar on a white board or serve coffee/tea in the dining room. I then would come back and grab my things I would need for a morning program. Soon after this program, I would do my paperwork, and play the piano until break in the dinning room. Next, a break, more organizational time for next program followed by the program, paper work and one to one visits.
It sounded very well done to me. The only variation would be if I was running a culture lunch, a regular dinning in or an outing for seniors. However, Claudia didn’t approve. She began filling my organization times with more things to do. She added on doing up announcement posters for upcoming big events.
Why was this bad? I was becoming most overwhelmed. I didn’t say no. I kept saying yes. I was always behind now on everything. I would take on projects I had no time for and then get behind. I was staying longer and longer. I was doing a worse job at the things I struggled with like dividing bills of ten people. I was digging myself into almost being fired.
NO!
How come the word is so hard to say? We as ADHD people think we’re Gods. We think a million things can be done without a problem. We also think we have to do it because they say so…you know, like back in the “I’m not a Victim” speech, we think that’s the way it is. Thus, it feels like we can’t say no. We can do it all—woe is me, they are making me do it, the two thoughts that roll through our mind.
Here’s the kicker, we are great at procrastinating. Last minute stuff is always exhilarating! It is when we think the best as the panic mode sets in which pumps the blood faster. However, when the fun stuff of the project is done, then we’re bored and want to move on. Or, we finish the bulk of the project but remember another project that was due at the same time and maybe start working on it.
Sound familiar? I have done this a hundred times. I know which one needs to get done now. However, the other one is so much more interesting. I leave it to last minute and then have to work hours on it.
So, find yourself overloaded? Say no! Why did I have to stay ten minutes after work today? Whelp, I didn’t delegate well. I tried to delegate but the person who I said, “I’ll help you if you help me.”—essentially bailed out, leaving me to work by myself. She was supposed to help me finish my paperwork. Instead, she left.
I was very upset. I had to stay behind which meant I had to deal with situations I didn’t want to ON TOP OF MY PAPERWORK because I was still there. So how could have I changed it? I knew I was behind when she called me. The afternoon had become like a feeding frenzy, everyone wanted me at once.
Obesity – Obese people usually suffer generic cialis cipla http://ronaldgreenwaldmd.com/procedures/back-procedures/anterior-lumbar-interbody-fusion-alif/ from weak erection and low libido. It does not augment or excite you into wanting more sex and will not raise your libido nevertheless it will help you levitra 20mg canada to keep an eye out in order to identify them. Other than strong feel you will feel order levitra online ronaldgreenwaldmd.com more confident about your sexual performance and appearance in bed. Some ingredients in Musli Strong capsules: Musli safed: This is the main ingredient in Musli Strong levitra professional capsules.
In the past, I would skip my breaks and just work through them on days like this. DO NOT DO THIS! You will become more frustrated. You will be abused basically by the people around you because they will expect this from you. Oh So and so doesn’t go for break if we need her, let’s ask her for help.
Another thing that commonly adds to this would be people I would call sponges. A sponge needs bulk to be able to look puffed out and good. Thus, they suck in stuff. A sponge person is one who cannot (or doesn’t want to) do their job. Therefore, they suck on your life force and energy and make you do it for them. One in particular seems to run around like an airhead when she needs help. She makes every part of the job sound like an emergency. Thus, everyone picks up her slack.
NO! SAY NO! She’ll tattle on you because you didn’t help her, explain to the boss why you didn’t. Danielle (Not real name) always is a mess and everyone does her work for her. She has the easiest area to work in with only five people who truly need her at all times. Her partner Kate (Not real name) has ten people who needs her at all times. Her partner is left alone because Danielle states, “I can’t help her, I am so overloaded. She has to do it on his own and I need you to leave your partner to help me because I have this and this and that…” Okay, why is this fair? It’s not! Say no.
You and your partner have 16 between the two of you and you need to work with your partner. So why can’t Danielle do the same? Sponges only think of what their problem is and are only concerned with their own work. They may help here and there but essentially, they soak up your energy and your time. SO SAY NO.
What else contributed to an overload of things in the afternoon? Promises, promises made but forgotten. How do we deal with this then? I forgot about what I said and two people remembered. They approached me and said, “You promised you’d…” Okay, memory lapses happen I know. Both of these things take time. Both of these tasks are important to these people.
When you promise to do something, you need to make sure you remember these things. If you can do them sooner than later, do them. If you can’t, make yourself a note or set an alarm to remind you. I forgot to do so. Normally, I pick a time, I set an alarm for this time and I will know exactly what it was. Also, I tell the person I made the promise to, remind me. If they remind you you’re more likely to do it. In addition, delegate. If someone is free and willing, get them to look after that need.
However, there is one more thing that you should remember the word no for. The most famous work phrase ever used: Can you do me a favor? One favor, okay—two favors, three four five. Hmm…let’s see, time management. Do you have time to one hundred things for everyone? NO! You are one person not five hundred people. When they use the phrase, “Can you do me a favor?”, ASK WHAT IT IS! I have learned never to blindly say yes. If it is too big of favor or so out of your way, then it will eat your time up. If it is something you don’t have time for, why would you say yes? So, NO, no I don’t have time for this, but I see this and this person sitting on their bum doing nothing, maybe they can assist you.
Review time ladies and gents: Don’t get overloaded, learn to say no and start saying yes to success. Don’t allow sponges to suck your time and life force. Only make promises you intend to keep and give yourself reminders. Delegate when you run out of time. Watch out for the phrase, “Can you do me a favor?” We love to help everyone but we can’t.
I am excited to share this with you and am going to continue to try to say…
NO