I have been personally working on becoming more secure with myself. Coming from a negative household where things were never normal, I am now learning what normal can be. I have a husband who loves me and I love him. I have a home with no drama. I am not looking after people’s kids while juggling school or work. However, I personally am not used to it.
I have a husband who holds me every night. We wrap up in each other like a baby in a warm blanket, and we feel safe. We are so in love we even sometimes hold each other’s toes to feel each part of each other. This is love, a love that is very strong.
However, again, I was not used to such things. In the beginning of my marriage, my self-esteem was so low, I was scared of this love—this beautiful wonderful love. I was so distraught trying very hard to invent drama as it was my normal. I was trying to see how far I would have to push him before he would leave as I was afraid he would leave me due to my parents split. I loved him so much and I didn’t understand why I had to keep testing him to make sure he would stay.
However, I am glad to say I am working through these emotions. I am working to become secure with myself and my new beautiful life. It will be a year on January 21st 2013. A year of learning and joy as well as frustration and pain; this has been a year of learning for me. I have been thinking of how much I have changed and how much more I know I will change.
How come I was so willing to have such drama? Why am I so scared? I am almost scarred by the events of my past, sometimes picking the scar open again just to remember what it is like. However, I am trying to learn how to let it just heal.
It has been a challenging year but one I am proud of. I am learning day by day to become better with myself. I have learned that not everything is my fault and I am not totally useless. I am learning how to live with a husband who makes me feel so happy.
When he got sick this week, I realized how much I love him and appreciate all the little things he does for me. He is doing the laundry because I don’t really like our downstairs neighbour as to me he is creepy when he is nice and scary when he is mean.
It is simply impossible to make a stressed person ready for sex. cheapest viagra in australia ED buy levitra uk is really just the tip (ha!) of the iceberg when it comes to crumbling health. The order generic viagra medication acts quickly and you will start to feel better. The process of parasympathetic regulates when the body is at rest order prescription viagra during sleeping hours, when the heart is contracting (systole) to pump blood to the body. Yesterday, we folded laundry together even though he wasn’t feeling like it. Today I come home and he was doing dishes because I overslept thus wasn’t much help. I felt bad and wished I could have just woken up.
He is my sounding board when I need a listening ear. When I have a bad day and just need to talk, he listens and his eyes are so gentle. Without saying anything or with saying just a little he cleans my whole attitude.
It never fails to amaze me how much support makes a difference in a person’s life who has ADHD. Even when you can’t do the little things, if he loves you and supports you, you know that maybe tomorrow you can succeed finally at the little things.
I am learning that through the support of others I can learn almost anything. I am so thankful. Our spirits seemed to collide. I heard him read aloud and I was attracted to this voice who had so much passion. I stayed to see who the voice was and his face was as passionate looking as his voice.
I am so happy to be married to such a wonderful man who is willing to live one day at a time. Who is willing to love his wife with so much passion. I love laying on his chest and listening to his calming heartbeat. Most of all, I love who I am when I am with him.
Thank you Michael. Thank you for who you are and all you do. I love you so much.