Giving up is quite easy. I have learned many times this lesson. Giving up is also very hard. When you give up, you lose out on the experience of learning and becoming stronger. So then, how do we keep going when all the odds seem against us?
I am going to travel back to the past for a moment. A time when Mom was not a very capable mother, Dad was working and I was going to school. I had turned 13. My sister had become a teenage Mom, well actually more of a teenager who had a baby and then started having major health problems. So, I was taking care of my three brothers, my mom (who had a total mental breakdown), my sister and my sister’s baby.This was not an easy time for me, being a teenager alone is never easy. I had been taken off my ADHD medicine three years prior. My grades were slipping due to lack of sleep as I got up with a baby as well as no focusing abilities. I was spending time with the boys, my niece or my sister trying to help them with their problems. I had to try to make sure all got off to school on time and get myself out the door. If I didn’t my completely black and white mother wouldn’t give me bus fare to go to school as she assumed it was my fault for skipping school when she wasn’t getting out of bed for her sons.
Does this sound easy? Nope. I didn’t get to do what I wanted for school as I couldn’t keep up with everything thus my grades slipped. (It had nothing to do with my intelligence. When my sister was in college, I helped her with her papers and together we got good marks). I also didn’t get to participate in afterschool things like volleyball or writing clubs. I didn’t get to go to parties. I had to stay in and watch my siblings.
Was it worth it? Yes. My brothers are my closest friends. I can talk to them about anything. My niece and I have a strong bond. I love her very much and adore the time I spent with her. My mom got her life together and is about to embark on her doctorate. As for me, I had a lot of catching up to do but I am finally doing what I need to do.
My Dad remarried and his wife released me from my duties. I am married, have a stable job and did a lot of upgrading. I am just finishing more school and plan on taking more. I am on my medicine and doing well.
What did I learn then? Life can be complicated and hard. It is okay to be sad and to have feelings. It is okay to be angry once in a while because sometimes, you need to be. It isn’t okay to relish in it. Certain individuals I know love to play victim or love to show off as if they were on a stage until everyone knows how hurt they are. Others take it out on someone else—on purpose or by accident.
Being a victim doesn’t solve anything, if something isn’t working in life, speak up (not rudely). Figure out how to solve it yourself because perhaps it is something that needs changing in you. Just don’t sit by and not do anything about it. Be your own spokesperson.
Do not step on others to make them sink to your level. Be aware of how you’re acting as much as possible. If you hurt someone, apologize right away. If someone hurts you, tell them, and apologize as they probably don’t know they hurt you or they did but you hurt them too. Love the people who bug you the most.
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If you feel like you want to “Punish” yourself or that you cannot float back to happiness, it isn’t okay and seeking help is not a sign of weakness but strength. I went to a counsellor as well. I went with the idea that I would get help, not with the idea that they didn’t care and were being paid to see me. You have to be willing to be helped out. Having a stranger to just throw out feelings at can be good.
Don’t push away those who love you because they may be the only ones who can help you. Sometimes you may feel they don’t understand but nine times out of ten, they do. Even if they don’t, they can listen to you. They can hug you and make you feel okay.
Rising above the feelings of giving up, is the only thing we can do. I wanted to give up back then but my little niece was my inspiration in many ways. Every new thing she learned, every aspect of life was precious to her. She had an infectious laugh and a way of making everyone smile around her. She was my ball of positivity.
Now, my niece is the age of me almost when she was born. She too is learning that life can be complicated and hard. One must remember though, you only know joy if you know sorrow. You are the only one in control of your destiny. If you want to be happy through sadness, you will find away. Push through the crowd of grumpy people and find your way.
Many times, we will trip and get downhearted. This isn’t a sign of defeat, this is a sign that you have fallen. Now you have nothing left to fear! You’re down and can’t fall anymore so, get up. Get back up and try again. Find the sunshine in life. Make a mental list each day of what was good about today. Try not to blame yourself for what went wrong, accept you made a mistake and try to move on.
Just because something went badly, doesn’t make you bad. This is the mistake of many of us, including myself. The deed was bad, it doesn’t make you bad. You are a good person and all you need to do is remember that. You will make mistakes, this is how a person learns. They don’t learn over night either. I know I have repeated mistakes over and over. However, when you do learn to not make the mistake again, it will be engrained in your head.
So, to conclude, life is worth it. Life, no matter what circumstances you’re living through, is wonderful. You control your own destiny of being happy though sometimes it doesn’t seem like it. You make mistakes but it doesn’t make you a bad person. Sing when you’re happy (Even if you suck at it), cry when you’re sad. Scream into a pillow when you’re mad. Seek help when you feel you can’t go on. For this is truly The Art of Living.