Although I am very pro trying very hard to do things whether it be learning or some other challenge, learning what your body, mind and soul need are also very important. Specifically, to know when one or all of these things have had enough. It is a shame never to try and never to challenge yourself, I am first to admit this.
I have given up opportunities as I have let others or I come in between of a learning experience that could further or rather, better myself. Through the help of my husband, I have gain experiences that I would never have done before I was married; Including keeping a blog of ADHD and learning more about myself than I had ever thought possible. However, I have also learned when I need to quit something.
To quit can mean many things. My favorite meaning is: To depart from or to leave. Sometimes we can try a million different ways to keep going and keep trying. After countless tries, sometimes a person has to admit to themselves, “This isn’t working”.
While hiking a mountain with my husband, I realized one thing, I was not ready for it. I was the slowest, I was behind. I kept trying to tell my body what to do but it constantly told me what to do. It kept telling me, demanding me to take breaks. However, my husband kept trying to tell me to keep going one step at a time, kept trying to get me to think of something else.
He had told me how many times he wanted to quit when he went up mountains and he had to talk himself out of it. Michael is a good man and was trying hard to get me to the top of the mountain and loved him for his support but my body continued to say “No”.
We were close to the top, about a ½ hour away when I saw a rock ledge I would have to climb. I was too tired, too shaky and knew something would probably happen if I tried it. I begged, pleaded with Michael but he didn’t want to let me go back down mainly because he wanted to continue going up. I knew I couldn’t do it I finally convinced him to lead me down.
Once I finally got in the car, I was proud I had turned around but I could still feel the emotions of my husband that I had quit, I had departed from the mountain, not conquering it.
To this I say, I am proud of myself for getting as far as I did.
There are just as many reasons to quit just as there are to keep trying. Remember, do the best you can and if you aren’t succeeding then it is time to quit, re-evaluate and come up with a new plan of action.
Reasons to quit…
1) You are experiencing a downward spiral. If your body, mind and soul are over stressed, no matter what the good thing is, the thing you are doing is not worth it. If the thing you are trying to do will lead you to hurt yourself, lose all your money and if failure prevails over and over…it is time to quit.
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2) Your relationships with others become far too damaged. A good time to quit is when you are damaging your relationship with your spouse or someone close to you. Ask yourself, is it worth hurting the person you love? Is this destroying someone close to you? Is this action making you untrustworthy or damaging the view of yourself in another’s eyes? Time to depart from what you are doing.
3) Your life situation has changed. Perhaps you have gained weight in my case and you don’t have the muscle strength. This merely means you have to train your body until you can climb your mountain. It could also be that you have a baby and you can’t support your needs therefore, you have to get a better job to support your family. Either way, if your situation has changed, it is okay to quit and either reformulate your plans or work on a new plan of action
4) Your values are being sacrificed by what you are doing. Maybe what you are doing is valuable to someone else and not to you. If that is the case, allow them to keep doing it and you move on. Maybe it is something you would rather not do because it goes against what you believe in. If that is the case, it is time to depart from the situation.
5) It’s no longer fun, you are no longer enjoying the task you are doing. You shouldn’t dread doing the task. If it becomes worse and worse, if you would rather do anything besides the task you are doing, it is time to quit.
6) You’re unchallenged. You want to have more opportunities to stretch the person who you are and what you are doing is not allowing you to do so it is time to move on
If You are unchallenged, no longer enjoying the task, your values are being sacrificed, your relationship is becoming damaged or your headed for a downward spiral, quitting is a good plan.
In my case, I was over challenged because I have gained weight. I was not enjoying the task physically as a result. I was angry at my husband for saying to friends we were with, “I believe she can do it, she wants to quit.” (I got over myself though) I was saying mean things to him as we started getting to the hard part—as I fell down more, became weaker and was getting more sore. My body was hurting me very badly—my soul felt beaten down and my mind was clouded.
Although I quit going up, I still had to get down, I still had to keep going. I went down the mountain mainly on my butt, ripping a pair of tights I wore underneath my clothes. My husband wouldn’t let me take a break as he was worried if I stopped I wouldn’t want to start again. In the car all I could think was, I survived. I went beyond my limits, but I realized I had listened to my body and now I was happier.
Sometimes it is okay to quit and I will continue to learn when to say yes but also, when to say no.